Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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