I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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