apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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