I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
