so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize