Welp...herpes.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
