You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
