I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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