There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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