She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
