Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
