i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
