I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
