she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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