If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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