the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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