I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
