So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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