He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
