Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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