No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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