im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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