Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
