I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
