Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
