Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
