soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
