I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
