Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
