i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
