Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize