My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
