Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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