these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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