But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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