I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize