you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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