apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
