I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
