your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize