Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
