dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
