9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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