We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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