Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
