There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
