I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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