i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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