you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Im part way to drunk.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize