You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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