I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
