If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize