After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
