I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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