He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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