My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
you made out with another girl for some wings
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
