OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
