i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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