I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I can't turn off my feet"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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