Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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