At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize