So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It was confusing and full of hummus
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
