We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
