This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
