Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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