oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
