i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
