I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
