She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
