It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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